Weekend predictions

Grunt editor Tank Lanning sees the Stormers and Sharks ending their tours well, the Cheetahs up against it, and the Bulls on a potential banana peel …

Stormers on Twitter while pretending to work, Sharks at a sneaky lunch “Meeting”, perhaps even with a beer or two, depending on whether you brought your Clorets to work … Blues and Saders on a gym bike (it cannot be missed), Brumbies vs Tahs over the wife’s head at the Stark Ayers coffee shop, then Bulls with a beer in hand as the fire burns down, and the Cheetahs post Weber denting on the coach with the Coleman under your feet … Splendid!

Friday 17 May

09:35 Hurricanes vs Chiefs, Westpac Stadium, Wellington
Referee: Lourens van der Merwe (South Africa)

Still no Conrad Smith for the Canes, and while good against the Cheetahs at times, they will have spent 2 days in a giant toothpaste tube back from SA. No Nanai-Willimas or Anscombe for the Chiefs, though, who were bloody woeful in the second half against the Force last week. Savea vs Masaga is positively 12 in 1 inducing, even at 09h30 on a Friday morning. This could be a cracker and I do not see the Chiefs having it all their own way as the bookies suggest.

My prediction: Hurricanes by 2

Hurricanes: 15 Andre Taylor, 14 Alapati Leiua, 13 Reynold Lee-Lo, 12 Tim Bateman, 11 Julian Savea, 10 Beauden Barrett, 9 TJ Perenara, 8 Victor Vito (c), 7 Jack Lam, 6 Faifili Levave, 5 Jason Eaton, 4 Jeremy Thrush, 3 Ben May, 2 Ash Dixon, 1 Ben Franks.

Bench: 16 Reggie Goodes, 17 Jeffery Toomaga-Allen, 18 James Broadhurst, 19 Brad Shields, 20 Chris Smylie, 21 Tusi Pisi, 22 James Marshall.

Chiefs: 15 Robbie Robinson, 14 Lelia Masaga, 13 Charlie Ngatai, 12 Bundee Aki, 11 Asaeli Tikoirotuma, 10 Aaron Cruden, 9 Tawera Kerr-Barlow, 8 Matt Vant Leven, 7 Tanerau Latimer, 6 Liam Messam, 5 Brodie Retallick, 4 Craig Clarke (captain), 3 Ben Afeaki, 2 Hika Elliot, 1 Pauliasi Manu

Bench: 16 Mahonri Schwalger, 17 Ben Tameifuna, 18 Michael Fitzgerald, 19 Nick Crosswell, 20 Augustine Pulu, 21 Dan Waenga, 22 Save Tokula

11:40 Rebels vs Stormers, AAMI Park, Melbourne
Referee: Mike Fraser (New Zealand)
AR: Rohan Hoffmann (Australia), Ed Martin (Australia)
TMO: Matt Goddard (Australia)

OK, so the bring in the “exciting” loose trio and half back pairing, but will they be allowed to play a little rugby? Or will this new lot of blue and white be asked to kick the ball away and tackle the liver out of the okes that run back at them? On paper, the Stormers are a magnificently exciting side, and with an out and out fetcher in Fourie, it might actually suit a Currie Cup based game that worked so well for them last year. But on the field, they seem too damn scared to try anything. And while the Rabble deserve their nickname, they do tend to keep the odd rabbit up their sleeves. But I think Storm will be hurting and keen to end the tour well.

My prediction: Stormers by 9

Rebels: 15 Jason Woodward, 14 Tom English, 13 Mitch Inman, 12 Rory Sidey, 11 Lachlan Mitchell, 10 Bryce Hegarty, 9 Nic Stirzaker, 8 Scott Higginbotham (captain), 7 Scott Fuglistaller, 6 Jarrod Saffy, 5 Cadeyrn Neville, 4 Hugh Pyle, 3 Laurie Weeks, 2 Ged Robinson, 1 Nic Henderson

Bench: 16 Shota Horie, 17 Paul Alo-Emile, 18 Luke Jones, 19 Gareth Delve, 20 Jordy Reid, 21 Nick Phipps, 22 Kimami Sitauti

Stormers: 15. Joe Pietersen, 14. Gio Aplon, 13. Juan de Jongh, 12. Jean de Villiers (captain), 11. Bryan Habana, 10. Elton Jantjies, 9. Louis Schreuder, 8. Nizaam Carr, 7. Siya Kolisi, 6. Deon Fourie, 5. Andries Bekker, 4. Eben Etzebeth, 3. Pat Cilliers, 2. Scarra Ntubeni, 1. Steven Kitshoff

Bench: 16. Martin Bezuidenhout, 17. Frans Malherbe, 18. Gerbrandt Grobler, 19. Don Armand, 20. Nic Groom, 21. Gary van Aswegen, 22. Gerhard van den Heever

13:45 Force vs Sharks, NIB Stadium, Perth
Referee: James Leckie (Australia)
AR: Ian Smith (Australia), Damien Mitchelmore (Australia)
TMO: Steve Leszczynski (Australia)

So Daniel was impressive in his handling of the “Tabloid journalism” from Media24 suggesting that he is not that big on the clutch plates in the side, but mark my words, all is not well in camp Shark, and the skipper certainly does not get on with every single oke who ever pulled on the black and white. It was not pretty against the Reds last week, while the Force, a bit like the Rebels, have enough in the tank to rattle a few cages, even as bottom feeders. Not convinced re Pietersen at 13, but it is not as if they have too many options at the moment. Big Willem is back, and there are a few big chunks of meat on the 5/2 split bench, and I think that might be enough to tenderise the Force.

My prediction: Sharks by 9

Force: 15 Jayden Hayward, 14 Patrick Dellit, 13 Ben Jacobs, 12 Kyle Godwin, 11 Nick Cummins, 10 Sias Ebersohn, 9 Alby Mathewson, 8  Ben McCalman, 7 Chris Alcock, 6 Matt Hodgson (captain), 5 Sam Wykes, 4 Toby Lynn, 3 Kieran Longbottom, 2 Heath Tessmann, 1 Pek Cowan.

Bench: 16 James Hilterbrand, 17 Tetera Faulkner, 18 Rory Walton, 19 Richard Brown, 20 Brett Sheehan, 21 Junior Rasolea, 22 Sam Norton-Knight.

Sharks: 15. Riaan Viljoen, 14. Odwa Ndungane, 13. JP Pietersen, 12. Meyer Bosman, 11. Lwazi Mvovo, 10. Patrick Lambie, 9. Charl McLeod, 8. Keegan Daniel (capt), 7. Willem Alberts, 6. Marcell Coetzee, 5. Franco van der Merwe, 4. Anton Bresler, 3. Jannie du Plessis, 2. Kyle Cooper, 1. JC Janse van Rensburg

Bench: 16. Monde Hadebe , 17. Wiehahn Herbst , 18. Pieter-Steph du Toit, 19. Derick Minnie/Tera Mtembu, 20. Jean Deysel , 21. Tian Meyer, 22. Piet Lindeque

Saturday 18 May

09:35 Crusaders vs Blues, AMI Stadium, Addington Christchurch
Referee: Glen Jackson (New Zealand)

Not sure it comes much better than this to be honest. Fruean vs Ranger, Guildford vs Halai, Carter vs Noakes, Weepu vs Ellis, and the biggie, back from injury Keiren Read vs Peter Saili. I could not give a toss who wins this (although my SuperBru pick will no doubt change that), but not even free beer to wash down a medium rare rump steak could keep me from this. Serious cracker alert …

My prediction: Crusaders by 7

Crusaders: 15 Tom Taylor, 14 Tom Marshall, 13 Robbie Fruean, 12 Ryan Crotty, 11 Zac Guildford, 10 Dan Carter, 9 Andy Ellis, 8 Kieran Read (captain), 7 Matt Todd, 6 George Whitelock, 5 Sam Whitelock, 4 Luke Romano, 3 Owen Franks, 2 Corey Flynn, 1 Wyatt Crockett

Bench: 16 Ben Funnell, 17 Joe Moody, 18 Dominic Bird, 19 Willi Heinz, 20 Adam Whitelock, 21 Israel Dagg

Blues: 15 Charles Piutau, 14 Frank Halai, 13 Rene Ranger, 12 Jackson Willison, 11 George Moala, 10 Chris Noakes, 9 Piri Weepu, 8 Peter Saili, 7 Luke Braid, 6 Steven Luatua, 5 Ali Williams (captain), 4 Culum Retallick, 3 Angus Ta’avao, 2 Keven Mealamu, 1 Tim Perry

Bench: 16 Quentin MacDonald, 17 Sam Prattley, 18 Anthony Boric, 19 Brendon O’Connor, 20 Jamison Gibson-Park, 21 Baden Kerr, 22 Francis Saili

11:40 Waratahs vs Brumbies, ANZ Stadium, Sydney
Referee: Steve Walsh (Australia)

An Aussie derby and the words “cracker alert” in the same sentence? Send in those strong tattooed folk who strop on the straight jackets people. I do not see it being anything like the game before it, but more of an arm wrestle South African style, perhaps with a little more flair out wide. Folau vs Mogg should have cooler boxes emptying round the world, even in the Deans household. But it’s the Hooper vs Smith battle that will eclipse even the front row head to head for me. My oath, that is top draw stuff. But it’s the front row battle that decides my SuperBru pick …

My prediction: Waratahs by 3

Waratahs: 15 Israel Folau, 14 Cam Crawford, 13 Adam Ashley-Cooper, 12 Rob Horne, 11 Drew Mitchell, 10 Bernard Foley, 9 Brendan McKibbin, 8 Wycliff Palu, 7 Michael Hooper, 6 Dave Dennis (captain), 5 Kane Douglas, 4 Sitaleki Timani, 3 Paddy Ryan, 2 Tatafu Polota-Nau, 1 Benn Robinson

Bench: 16 John Ulugia, 17 Sekope Kepu, 18 Will Skelton, 19 Mitchell Chapman, 20 Matt Lucas, 21 Berrick Barnes, 22 Peter Betham

Brumbies: 15 Jesse Mogg, 14 Henry Speight, 13 Tevita Kuridrani, 12 Christian Lealiifano, 11 Joseph Tomane, 10 Matt Toomua, 9 Nic White, 8 Ben Mowen (captain), 7 George Smith, 6 Peter Kimlin, 4 Scott Fardy, 3 Ben Alexander, 2 Stephen Moore, 1 Scott Sio

Bench: 16. Siliva Siliva, 17 Ruan Smith, 18 Fotu Auelua, 19 Colby Faingaa, 20 Ian Prior, 21 Pat McCabe, 22 Robbie Coleman

17:05 Bulls vs Highlanders, Loftus Versfeld, Pretoria
Referee: Jaco Peyper (South Africa)
AR: Ben Crouse (South Africa), Stefan Breytenbach (South Africa)
TMO: Shaun Veldsman (South Africa)

Bulls off a braai and biltong eating contest in Hatfield, while the Highlanders are off humiliation in PE. Quite clearly that little trip across the Indian Ocean did not agree with them, and one has to wonder if week 2 will be any better? These bye weekends can upset the momentum if not used correctly, and that must be the only thing standing in the way of the Bulls. Spies gets to 100, Hougaard is back, Serfontein and JJ are back as the centre pairing, and the bench looks solid. It’s crying out for the proverbial banana peel …

My prediction: Bulls by 12

Bulls: 15 Jurgen Visser, 14 Akona Ndungane, 13 JJ Engelbrecht, 12 Jan Serfontein, 11 Lionel Mapoe, 10 Morne Steyn, 9 Francois Hougaard, 8 Pierre Spies (captain), 7 Dewald Potgieter, 6 Deon Stegmann, 5 Juandre Kruger, 4 Flip van der Merwe, 3 Frik Kirsten, 2 Chiliboy Ralepelle, 1 Morne Mellett

Bench: 16 Callie Visagie, 17 Werner Kruger, 18 Grant Hattingh, 19 Arno Botha, 20 Jano Vermaak, 21 Louis Fouche, 22 Bjorn Basson

Highlanders: TBA

19:10 Cheetahs vs Reds, Free State Stadium, Bloemfontein
Referee: Craig Joubert (South Africa)
AR: Stuart Berry (South Africa), Sieg van Staden (South Africa)
TMO: Johan Greeff (South Africa)

Shaky from the Bloem boys last week. Very shaky. And one has to wonder if it was a one off hiccup, or the sign that perhaps this year is one too early for them to be real contenders? The Reds were quite extraordinary in the first half against the Sharks last week, but that was in Brisbane, and now suddenly they are in Bloemfontein, with Cooper looking for a local touch game to join. Elgar Watts is a brave call against Cooper! I think the Reds are hitting their straps …

My prediction: Reds by 7

Cheetahs: 15 Hennie Daniller, 14 Willie le Roux, 13 Johann Sadie, 12 Robert Ebersohn, 11 Raymond Rhule, 10 Elgar Watts, 9 Piet van Zyl, 8 Philip van der Walt, 7 Pieter Labuschagne, 6 Heinrich Brüssow, 5 Francois Uys, 4 Lodewyk de Jager, 3 Lourens Adriaanse, 2 Adriaan Strauss (captain), 1 Coenie Oosthuizen

Bench: 16 Ryno Barnes, 17 Trevor Nyakane, 18 Rynhardt Landman, 19 Johannes Prinsloo, 20 Sarel Pretorius, 21 Riaan Smit, 22 Ryno Benjamin

Reds: 15 Luke Morahan, Rod Davies, Chris Feauai-Sautia, Anthony Faingaa, Digby Ioane, 10 Quade Cooper, Will Genia, 8 Jake Schatz, Liam Gill, Ed Quirk, 5 James Horwill (capt), Rob Simmons, 3 James Slipper, Saia Faingaa, Greg Holmes.

Bench: James Hanson, Albert Anae, Ed O’Donoghue, Beau Robinson, Jarrad Butler, Ben Lucas, Ben Tapuai.